I wonder.... why am I working at such position in such company... It's not any kind of job which I ever had in mind. It's like... I don't feel like I'm learning anything here. I came in with 0 knowledge, and still staying at bar 0. Only difference it made is that I have met new friends there. Is there a reason why God allowed me to work in here?
I wonder... If I should quit teaching, and start picking up something else. Something which I can learn from instead...like maybe pursueing my Masters. But then again..masters in what?
I wonder... why isn't there a sombody who would be here with me, listen to me, share with me, and offer me advise when I need it most?
I wonder... why teacher never thought their students about appreciation?
I wonder...why is it that I feel my existance on earth doesn't make any difference to anybody at all? Not at work, neither with Hypo. With or without me, life goes on as usual for him. Sometimes I really wonder what is my "Scope of Work" - terminology frequently used in work place. Maybe my "validity period" has already expired and that's why nobody seems bothered bout me anymore. He has been away for so long, and there's absolutely nothing he has to talk to me...comes up with all the excuses that he wanna watch tv, send email, study etc etc, that he cannot talk to me. But turns out in the end, he goes talk to other ppl. Nothing to talk to me, but so much to talk to others. Most geram part huh... is when I don't online at all, he will call me to online (like wat he did in spore), BUT, he won't talk to me AT ALL. Have anyone ever met any donkeys like that huh?
I wonder.... why do I feels like a stranger now pulak. Talking nonsence over the net, and not really what I wanna talk about.
I wonder... what am I gonna do with my future? I really wanna learn something...i really need advise.
I wonder... why do I feel like someone has just dug a deep deep hole and burried me inside it.
At times like this...I really miss alot of things in life. Times when u call up yr buddies anytime of the day and talk about anything under the sun (this I noticed, is not valid anymore when u r in a relationship. I haven't had any actual talk with him for ages.)
I wonder...why do I feel like crying now for no reasons. I guess I just miss the feeling of being loved and feel appreciated
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Friday, August 19, 2005
Exhaustion...
It's been rather exhausted this few days. Good thing is that I still get to go home early bout 7pm plus.... but working days is really exhausted. Handling so many different new proposals, and at the same time following up with so many other proposals is really confusing and killing.
My Hypo has left me and gone to Singapore. I haven't seen him for a whole week already, and now entering the 2nd week. I miss him....
It wasn't a good day for my piano lesson this evening either. I was purely exhausted and felt like sleeping on the chair there itself. Of cos, i didn't play well..Just feel so tired.
Just hang up phone with Hypo. He got annoyed with me before I got annoyed with him. He huh, go all the way to spore don't know how to activate his hp roaming 1. He hung up the phone on me just now somemore. = I don't get any access to call him when he is there in spore, and yet he hangs up the phone on me.
Work itself is mad. But ppl in work place...guess there are some nice people around and some really annoying people around also. Get so bengang with some people today that I feel like strangling them, as their request just doesn't seem to make any sense at all. Like they purposely wanna make life miserable for everyone only.
Guess I'm really exhausted and everything just seems so annoying. Time to go get some sleep.... Wanna go for a swim tomorrow also to relax, need to go find a partner first. Nites!
My Hypo has left me and gone to Singapore. I haven't seen him for a whole week already, and now entering the 2nd week. I miss him....
It wasn't a good day for my piano lesson this evening either. I was purely exhausted and felt like sleeping on the chair there itself. Of cos, i didn't play well..Just feel so tired.
Just hang up phone with Hypo. He got annoyed with me before I got annoyed with him. He huh, go all the way to spore don't know how to activate his hp roaming 1. He hung up the phone on me just now somemore. = I don't get any access to call him when he is there in spore, and yet he hangs up the phone on me.
Work itself is mad. But ppl in work place...guess there are some nice people around and some really annoying people around also. Get so bengang with some people today that I feel like strangling them, as their request just doesn't seem to make any sense at all. Like they purposely wanna make life miserable for everyone only.
Guess I'm really exhausted and everything just seems so annoying. Time to go get some sleep.... Wanna go for a swim tomorrow also to relax, need to go find a partner first. Nites!
Sunday, August 14, 2005
2005 Convocation Ceremony
I have finally graduated.... Another milestone in my life. It had been rather tiring wearing that heavy and hot robe, but overall it had been fun. Really glad that the haze cleared up in time for my convo =>
Kinda sad and already start missing my friends. But I guess..... Oh well...life goes on. Just a brief summary of what happened this 2days.
13th August 2005 - Convocation day.
Woke up very early at 7.30am, had to start practicing my piano (didn't touch my piano at all the whole week) and prepared for my 8.30am class in TTDI. After class still have to go teach a student in SS2 for half hour. Went back home for a quick lunch about 11+am, then headed to Shan wan's house to get changed. I have absolutely no idea how the 'selendang' has to be worn, and really thank goodness for shan wan and her sis, I managed to get myself dressed.
After both of us got dressed, we headed to UM about 1+pm (later then what we expected), Vincent being our escort. Went and stand in our lines in Bangunan Peperiksaan, and later proceeded to walk to the Dewan Tunku Cancellor (DTC) about 2pm. From then onwards, we had to sit and wait...and wait...and wait.. The gown is humoungous, and the seating place is all very close together. With our hat somemore on our head, we can't move around much in our seats, else we'll start hitting the person beside us.
At 3pm, the VIP arrived and the ceremony begins. The whole ceremony only ended about 6pm. It was soooo packed outside, alot of my friends couldn't find their family. Yung Fei is one of them who actually 'lost' his parents. I was lucky enough that I manage to find my parents right after I came out of the hall. Found my parents but not my bf...bengang betul as I kept calling him and it's always either the call didn't get thru, or he jst didn't pick up. He bought me a new HP for my convo, it's a Sony Ericsson.
Anyway, after gathering everyone, went and take photo's etc etc. After everything is over, my family and I went for dinner at Victoria Station. Hypo Andrew didn't join, as he wanted to watch his football and his stomach was still stuffed with the Oyster's he had the night before. Came home exhausted, and went straight to bed.
14th August 2005 (Sunday)
Woke up about 9am, then together with my brother, we went down to Seremban to pick up my granny and my aunt. Brought them back to PJ, and along the way picked up my other granny from Jln Klang Lama.
12something in the afternoon, we went to the studio in Sunway to get our photo's taken. Spent 1 hour plus there smilling at the camera and boy was it tiring! After that went for vegetarian lunch and sent my grandma back home in Jln Klang Lama. From there, we headed back to UM to collect my photo's there and snap more pictures around there.
That's about it...and now i'm really sleepy.. time for bed. *groan* Back to work again tomorrow... *sigh*
Kinda sad and already start missing my friends. But I guess..... Oh well...life goes on. Just a brief summary of what happened this 2days.
13th August 2005 - Convocation day.
Woke up very early at 7.30am, had to start practicing my piano (didn't touch my piano at all the whole week) and prepared for my 8.30am class in TTDI. After class still have to go teach a student in SS2 for half hour. Went back home for a quick lunch about 11+am, then headed to Shan wan's house to get changed. I have absolutely no idea how the 'selendang' has to be worn, and really thank goodness for shan wan and her sis, I managed to get myself dressed.
After both of us got dressed, we headed to UM about 1+pm (later then what we expected), Vincent being our escort. Went and stand in our lines in Bangunan Peperiksaan, and later proceeded to walk to the Dewan Tunku Cancellor (DTC) about 2pm. From then onwards, we had to sit and wait...and wait...and wait.. The gown is humoungous, and the seating place is all very close together. With our hat somemore on our head, we can't move around much in our seats, else we'll start hitting the person beside us.
At 3pm, the VIP arrived and the ceremony begins. The whole ceremony only ended about 6pm. It was soooo packed outside, alot of my friends couldn't find their family. Yung Fei is one of them who actually 'lost' his parents. I was lucky enough that I manage to find my parents right after I came out of the hall. Found my parents but not my bf...bengang betul as I kept calling him and it's always either the call didn't get thru, or he jst didn't pick up. He bought me a new HP for my convo, it's a Sony Ericsson.
Anyway, after gathering everyone, went and take photo's etc etc. After everything is over, my family and I went for dinner at Victoria Station. Hypo Andrew didn't join, as he wanted to watch his football and his stomach was still stuffed with the Oyster's he had the night before. Came home exhausted, and went straight to bed.
14th August 2005 (Sunday)
Woke up about 9am, then together with my brother, we went down to Seremban to pick up my granny and my aunt. Brought them back to PJ, and along the way picked up my other granny from Jln Klang Lama.
12something in the afternoon, we went to the studio in Sunway to get our photo's taken. Spent 1 hour plus there smilling at the camera and boy was it tiring! After that went for vegetarian lunch and sent my grandma back home in Jln Klang Lama. From there, we headed back to UM to collect my photo's there and snap more pictures around there.
That's about it...and now i'm really sleepy.. time for bed. *groan* Back to work again tomorrow... *sigh*
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