Decisions?

Don't you think that one have to make tons of decision a day?
From the minute you open yr eyes in the morning, you have to decide if you are gonna snooze yr alarm another 10 minutes or to get up... till the time when you are going to close yr eyes to sleep you decide if you are ready to sleep or want to catch another 10minutes of TV.

I thought at first that my biggest decision that I will ever make in my life is on getting married. Now turns out that career's decision is also equally that important. How I decide which path to take in my career will affect the rest of my life.

I applied for a programme blindly not knowing what is required, with just an end in mind that IF I get it I will get to travel and be away from office for a whole month. Right before I clicked on "Submit" 1 month ago, I realized all my justifications on "why should I be chosen in this programme" is written wrongly and I simply re-wrote the whole thing within an hour, closed my eyes and pressed "submit". That goes to show how much I know about the programe itself.

Now that somehow somebody found the pin in the stack of hay, and gave the pin a chance to participate in the programme... I find myself stuck in a crossroad and constantly asking myself if I am really up for it and should I do it. There's so many other decisions in my life now with regards to my career and studies, and somehow...everything falls in at the same time! There's always never any right time for anything to happen huh...

It's you know..very often there are ppl who have been jobless and desperately looking for job for months and get no reply from anyone. But there will be a time when suddenly everyone calls up at the same time, and there's 5 offers layed down in front for that person to make a decision. Is this a way of life when God designs it that way to make us human beings think by placing us at crossroads and forced to make a decision for ourselves? each decision will lead us to different ending and will change everything from here.

I thought I would be pleased with the news, but somehow I'm not getting any reaction from Him. Is he upset? Is he proud of me? I don't know.... I know my 1st boss is happy for me.
Myself, I was happy initially, and then stoned...cos I would now not know how to arrange work during my absence and how tell my 2nd boss about this. Not only that, I have never ever been away from my hometown PJ for more then a week. And now I need to be thrown in a far away ctry for a month? All alone? and join forces teaming up with people from all over the world. I've never had to work with any foreigners before, and now I have to work with ALL foreigners and no other Malaysians? I know it's an extremely good exposures for ppl like me who has only stayed under the stone all my life.... but it is a damn scary experience for someone like me who is not considered that young anymore.

Where art thou? Guardian Angels.

"..Once lost, and now found"... forgot the rest of the lyrics to that song.....

Once lost my favourite stone, and now found 1 day later.
Once lost my favourite blinking watch, and found it back 1 year later.
Once gave away and seperated my 3 crystal angels, and it came back reunited 2 years later.
Lost friends, and found back 3 years later.

I'm very prone to losing stuff's, and somehow my guardian angel will help me to find it back.

Someone once looked at me, and said that I was spiritually strong & I have guardian angels looking after me. I was amazed at the part "spiritually strong", as I do not particularly pray every day, or go to church & listen attentively to Pastor every Sunday. But I believe in guardian angels since young. Always believed that they will look & take care of me.

Since young, I always imagined my guardian angel to be my husband. Someone whom I can count on & would always protect me. Wanna know what has happened?

I have a "Guardian" as a husband now...but not an angel. Guardian who says I cannot drink, cannot go out. Locked me in my room and only knows how to yell at me and force me to follow him home immediately, though I jst sat down less then 5 minutes with my friends. My Guardian doesn't care what others will see me as, or what others would think of him.

But I'm still....sane. Sane although having kept locked up in my room on a Saturday night after a shitty week, and another shitty week to come. I have all my angels keeping me happy at home.

1. My blue stone which I found back this morning, will protect me and make my work bearable and hopefully I can make a name for myself in my career. Hopefully I can find my path soon.
2. My 3 crystal angels reunited & looking at me on my work desk in my room, who gives me peace.
3. My 2 bigger fairies watching over me.
4. My Nemo and Dolphin on my bed to let me rest and sleep well at night
5. Tigger, my companion when I'm really down and cheers me up again.
6. My new Doggie arm rest who lets me punch & squeeze when I'm so worked out.

I love you all! Probably time to get myself a Fairy or Angel tatoo soon.

Maybe I'm not so sane now after all...

You got a friend

"When u are down and trouble, and u need a helping hand. And nothing and nothing is going right. Close yr eyes and think of me, and soon I will be there. To brighten up, even yr darkest nights.

You just call out my name. And u know wherever I am. I’ll come running. To see you again…

Winter, spring, summer or falls. All you gotta do is call. And I’ll b there.. u got a friend…"

A song which brings back great old memories. One of my long time favourite song. I thought it was a song shared, of ever lasting friendship.... turns out i was wrong. Nevertherless I still can't get this song out of my mind. It will still be one of my fav song and it still brings back memories.

Time seems to have flown by. I'm already into almost 1.5 years of married life. So much has happened.

Whatever has happened, has happened. Good to be kept near the heart, bad to be thrown away.

Good night