Decisions?

Don't you think that one have to make tons of decision a day?
From the minute you open yr eyes in the morning, you have to decide if you are gonna snooze yr alarm another 10 minutes or to get up... till the time when you are going to close yr eyes to sleep you decide if you are ready to sleep or want to catch another 10minutes of TV.

I thought at first that my biggest decision that I will ever make in my life is on getting married. Now turns out that career's decision is also equally that important. How I decide which path to take in my career will affect the rest of my life.

I applied for a programme blindly not knowing what is required, with just an end in mind that IF I get it I will get to travel and be away from office for a whole month. Right before I clicked on "Submit" 1 month ago, I realized all my justifications on "why should I be chosen in this programme" is written wrongly and I simply re-wrote the whole thing within an hour, closed my eyes and pressed "submit". That goes to show how much I know about the programe itself.

Now that somehow somebody found the pin in the stack of hay, and gave the pin a chance to participate in the programme... I find myself stuck in a crossroad and constantly asking myself if I am really up for it and should I do it. There's so many other decisions in my life now with regards to my career and studies, and somehow...everything falls in at the same time! There's always never any right time for anything to happen huh...

It's you know..very often there are ppl who have been jobless and desperately looking for job for months and get no reply from anyone. But there will be a time when suddenly everyone calls up at the same time, and there's 5 offers layed down in front for that person to make a decision. Is this a way of life when God designs it that way to make us human beings think by placing us at crossroads and forced to make a decision for ourselves? each decision will lead us to different ending and will change everything from here.

I thought I would be pleased with the news, but somehow I'm not getting any reaction from Him. Is he upset? Is he proud of me? I don't know.... I know my 1st boss is happy for me.
Myself, I was happy initially, and then stoned...cos I would now not know how to arrange work during my absence and how tell my 2nd boss about this. Not only that, I have never ever been away from my hometown PJ for more then a week. And now I need to be thrown in a far away ctry for a month? All alone? and join forces teaming up with people from all over the world. I've never had to work with any foreigners before, and now I have to work with ALL foreigners and no other Malaysians? I know it's an extremely good exposures for ppl like me who has only stayed under the stone all my life.... but it is a damn scary experience for someone like me who is not considered that young anymore.